Monday, September 24, 2012

Are you ready to love?

They say that one's intuition -- especially women's intuition -- are almost always correct. If that is so, then this scares me. This lingering feeling is so scary I can't even start -- or finish -- to imagine it happening. Today I saw a different form of him, much like a transforming Pokemon before my eyes. It was a little painful for me, not because of the shouting and the cursing, but because I felt that he was feeling "that" pain again that was supposed to be long forgotten. And it was my fault he got upset, I admit it. It was a lousy mistake to make. If that were me in his position I would have done the same -- or probably much worse. You see, I made a big mistake of putting up posts on facebook that was related to our fight. That was dumb. I was feeling so angry yesterday that I wasn't thinking straight. Or maybe I was thinking but I just didn't care. That was dumber. I shouldn't have hurt him that way and I regret hurting him. People always make this mistake of putting up quotes or reposting things that we know would affect someone we care about. I had promised myself not to do this ever again, but alas, I failed.
Not my brightest day I guess. I'm still working on how to be a better girlfriend and I guess we learn something new (old) everyday. The good news is..! We made up before sleeping. I wish we made out after that, but we were miles apart so the phone call would have to do. What I hate the most about fighting is that when one things starts everything starts piling up above the other that when you decide to resolve it, you have to remove each layer one by one. It's just emotionally exhausting to get into a fight with somebody you love. You hate his stinking guts but then you love him with all your stinking heart. Ahhh crazy love.

I guess everybody has that fear of being the person who loves more that the other. The fear that when the day comes that you have to separate ways, you'd be the one who's going to cry while the other person's going to keep walking away.
But you know what they say..

"You're ready to love when you're ready to be that person who loves more than the other"


  1. Hi! Thanks for stopping by, I've read the first few posts on your blog (which chronologically would be the *last* few, but you get what i mean) and this one stood out. you are so very lucky to have found love and, imho, even more so if you are the one to love more. I don't think i've ever really been in love so my opinion doesn't weigh much, but still i think that love makes you better, you want to be the best person you possibly can not only for yourself anymore, but for someone else too. And if you are the one who loved more, and if indeed it happens that you end up going your separate ways, at least you have no regrets, you know you gave it your best shot. If you are the one who loved less, or mybe if you cared so much but didn't really *love* when you go your separate ways it is going to hurt you more than you could have imagined, cause you hurt someone you got close to and cared about, even if you didn't end up falling for them. I don't know if this makes any sense to you.
    Oh my, sorry for the rambling...just be happy to love and be loved back, be the best you can. And lay off the evil facebook :P! I wish you all the best in your relationship :)
    I'll be back!

  2. Hi Antonella! What you said makes sense and I actually live by that idea. I just give the best I can -- even if sometimes it makes me look stupid -- so that I won't regret anything in the end. :) Thanks for dropping by!


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