Friday, July 27, 2012

Less Traveled Road

I've been beating myself up these days. If I were somebody else, I would have hated me.

"YOU! Good for nothin lazy az girl! Get out of the house and get youself sum real job! You haz an education for chrissake!"

Okay, I don't know why my conscience speaks like that, I swear she speaks with a British accent sometimes.

But enough of the complaining.

My internet went down last night, I lost two students. Two students only, so thank you Lord for that.
My internet was still down this morning so I had to text the office and close my vacant slots. I still had a lot of vacant slots, so thank you Lord for that.
I decided to just tidy up the kitchen and do some things around the house. You see, I woke up with a really sour mood, so for that 360 degree spin, thank you Lord for that.
Oh! My internet was up again so I was able to salvage some classes, thank you Lord for that.
Good start for a day, I say.

Ava San: Class is in session!
Last night my company offered me a job which I gracefully refused.After some deliberation because I couldn't handle going home at 12 midnight. I guess the salary would be good, but it wouldn't beat the "home based, part-time" schedule I have right now. My job would be easier I suppose, computer and technical stuffs doesn't scare me. My job there would be to assist tutors and I would have perhaps, a desk and computer to do it so it wouldn't really be a problem for me. All I am thinking is that I wouldn't have as much free time (something I shouldn't really have at 22) as I have now and of course the safety of my precious life if I die on my way home. I love being a tutor anyway. I realized that it's interesting to know new people and learn different things about them, their country, their hobbies or their travelling adventures. It makes me feel like I'm seeing it through their eyes and it makes me inspired to do something about it. Sometimes it's a little tiring, yes. Imagine sitting down in front of your computer 5 hours a day. Okay, I've done that before, 5 hours and more for Sims 3 actually. So, imagine sitting there for 5 hours and talking non-stop. I have to smile and be amiable, which I naturally am, and I have to know the answers most of the time. Have even I told you that I hate English? I like using English, but learning its rules are brain damaging. I also have to search for articles and news if the student wants to learn that, and I have 5 minute break every class to make a short report, pee or wipe my face. So really, it's not a walk in the park, more like a jog in the park. But, I still like my work right now, I have nothing to complain about, aside from days that I cannot go out because I have to work. But everybody has that. As of now, I am enjoying what I do. I'm not going to do it forever of course, but at least I can have something to do.

I really am beginning to believe that hospital work is not for me. There are still a lot of other nursing jobs out there aside from hospital work. I can be a private duty nurse, a nurse practitioner, a cruise ship nurse, travelling nurse, community nurse, company nurse or school nurse. Most of my college friends that I know are either volunteers or BPO agents. Only some chosen few are working in a hospital. Now I am turning my negativity to positivity and finally taking this quote by heart:
Make your own path rather than follow the rest on a well-traveled road.
Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought.
I am still looking for that little crevice in this dark room of mine. I know it's in here somewhere, I just need to search for it, long and hard. For the mean time, I'll take my time to decide, because when I finally arrive at my decision, I'll be doing that work forever, for sure.

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