I opened my blog and I wanted to write something, but I end up erasing the sentences I've just written, because, I do not know what to write about. I'm tired of writing about my feelings. because. I'm simply tired. And I pity myself for doing this to me. I have always thought that I'm weak. And now I am learning, that I am not. When I want something, I don't stop until I get it.
Life is short, believe me. So what I do, is make myself happy. And I know what makes me happy. That is why I do not want to lose something that makes me smile, because I'm afraid that I might die tomorrow, and I want to die happy :) Don't freak out, this is not a "paramdam" not a "goodbye message". I'm just saying it is all. I won't die okay?? :D I have learned a lot lately. I won't enumerate. These things I learned are the things I will never learn if things were different or should I say, If the things stayed the same. I wanted to share to you this little prayer that I always pray when I'm blinded with problems.
Feel free to pray with me..
Dear God, I know that you have plans for me, I may not know what it's all about now, I know that in time I will. Please let me get through this, please give me strenght to keep holding on to my faith. Please give me a heart that does no worry for tomorrow, a heart that is strong, a heart that can wait, and heart that does not question. Please make me see the things you want me to learn. I'm sorry for the times that I question you. I know you will guide me through this. Shed me some light lord, for I do not know what else to see. Take care of me. I am not proud, and I do need you. Thank you for not leaving my side. I know that when I cry you are beside me. I know that when I talk to you, you listen. I never doubted your presence. Thank you for giving me this challenge, and I pray that I will not fail you.
I offer you my life, your will be done.
Im not a religous person. I don't even go to church on Sundays. Me and God have our own understanding. I belive that you don't have to go to a place just to reach him. I have faith in him alone. I can reach him anywhere I am. just like a 24/7 hotline. I can talk to him not only on churches, not only at 8pm, not only when we are many. I can reach him even it's only me, even inside a bathroom, even at 12midnight. If you are reading this, I hope that I have shed a special piece. I do not know what else to write about, so here.
Di ako magmamadre okay? :P I just feel that someone outhere needs something, and I hope, that someone outhere that do needs help read this single blog. I am not the help. I'm just a messenger :)
Now I know why all of a sudden I wanted to write something :)
Good Day to all,
Wait for the miracle.